I suffer from major depressive disorder. It’s a horrible disease that takes over your mind and immobilizes you. Unmedicated, your thoughts are sometimes not your own – they are made up by your own mind and it sometimes feels like there is a reel inside of my head that plays over and over telling me my worst fears are coming true. Thank God there are medicines and therapies which can help silence the horror film those of us with a mental illness live with.
My family on my moms side has some sort of faulty gene which has caused suicides, schizophrenia and bipolar disease in our history. I consider myself lucky that I recognized the symptoms at age 17 and went to the doctor on my own to get help. Hiding it just makes it worse. I did not want to be like the rest of my family who tried to pretend it didn’t exist or it would go away on its own. It DOES exist and it doesn’t just go away.
There are a lot of great sites on the internet to visit if you are still not sure you are ready to talk to anyone in person. I really like The Mighty found at https://themighty.com/ , To Write Love on Her Arms at https://twloha.com/ , and for those of you who are young and struggle with your sexual identity as well as depression, The Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ .
If you are suffering from depression or other mental crisis, please see a doctor and get some help. It does not have to be a psychiatrist. You can get medicine from your primary care physician. It’s time to start taking care of yourself again. And one more thing. You are not crazy just because you decide to get help for yourself – you’re crazy if you don’t!